Chick Goes on Facebook Live and Puts a Girl She's Beefing With on Blast! "I'm Proud to Be Ugly
My Insecure Girlfriend Is Possessive and Decision-making. Should I Get out?
My girlfriend won't let me to have a life outside of her. We've been together for four years, and in that time I've never cheated on her. In fact, I've spent almost all of my costless time with her. However, she feels compelled to account for my fourth dimension autonomously from her—if I'm not at work or with family unit, I have to exist with her or I come abode to 20 questions. Consequently, I have been unable to nourish social gatherings that don't involve her, go to the gym ("Who are you trying to look good for?" she'll say), or pursue any me-only hobbies. She checks my text messages and makes mountains out of mole hills. One night, she was hanging out with friends. I was expecting to work late, but I finished earlier than expected and decided to go go a bite to eat with a coworker. My girlfriend was livid when she showed upward at my role and I wasn't there working like I said I would be. She was even more livid to notice out I'd decided to get hang out with a friend, fifty-fifty though she was with her friends. As a 34-year-erstwhile adult, I thought it was OK for me to make the executive call to hang with a friend to pass the fourth dimension. I've read commodity after article nearly insecurity and the damage information technology does to relationships, and most say something to the effect of, "Don't walk ... run!" The consequence isn't getting any better, then I gauge that's my question: Should I run? —Owned
Dear Owned,
Does this song audio familiar?
"Every Breath You Take" past The Police:
Every jiff you take
Every motility you brand
Every bond y'all suspension
Every step you accept
I'll exist watching you
Some people think information technology's a honey song, simply according to Sting himself, information technology'due south the opposite—as he put information technology, "very, very sinister and ugly." Does it remind yous of your relationship with your girlfriend? The song is about a stalker, someone who watches every unmarried thing their partner does or wants to do and takes away their freedom. In such a human relationship, a person might experience condom and loved at offset, in a secure space, but that space quickly turns into a prison.
Yous say you've read many manufactures about insecurity and the impairment it tin can cause. I am not going to advise any more than books or articles to you; I think it's time you terminate reading and offset doing. I think you already know all you demand to.
In the kind of human relationship you describe—of possessor and possessed—both partners are insecure. You ask if you lot should exit. I ask why you need to enquire. What do you desire to do? I suggest that you seek professional help and a back up group so you tin can learn to listen to yourself, deed on your true needs and desires, and develop better, healthier relationships that volition help you honor your own inner guide and grow.
Respectfully,
Lynn
Lynn Somerstein
Lynn Somerstein, PhD, NCPsyA, C-IAYT is a Manhattan-based, licensed psychotherapist with more than than 30 years in private practise. She is also a yoga teacher and student of Ayuveda—the Indian science of wellness. Her primary interest is in helping people find healthy ways of living, loving, and working in the detail combination that works best for them, connecting to their deepest energic source so their full range of abilities can be expressed. Lynn'due south specialty is agreement and alleviating anxiety and depression.
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Source: https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/dear-gt/my-insecure-girlfriend-is-possessive-and-controlling-should-i-leave
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